Christianity is rather irritating to me. The whole dilemma, of having to "believe rightly" in order to avoid "eternal damnation" is fundamentally problematic, as "right faith" cannot be verified.

How does one dare believe in anything at all, if one risks believing "wrong" and thus spend eternity in a lake of fire?

It seems to me that if God wanted us to have very spesific beliefs, he would have provided more evidence of the spesific beliefs in question and provided more guidance than some dude that walked around contradicting himself every two kilometers and speaking in riddles two thousand years ago, as well as a million other dudes adding their own interpretations to the initial riddles and contradictions.

It seems to me, that the only real option is to find our own truths and form our own beliefs. They are, for all intents and purposes, as unverifiable as the beliefs held by Jesus and thus are as valid and true, as any other.

Im rather tired of trying to understand Christianity. Of the major world religions, it is the one who makes the absolute least logical sense. I suspect, the Church's meddling is to blame for this, and not Jesus himself. There is little doubt in my mind, that Jesus knew a thing or two, as many of his thoughts resonate with my own.

But then again, perhaps the apparent contradictions, the "unsolvability" of Christianity serves a purpose of its own, in that it forces us to think, and to grow in order to make sense of the apparent enigma of it all.

A ready made answer does not challenge us, as much as a riddle.

We grow, only when we face resistance.

Christianity may be a Koan.