I have this feeling.. and I think there is truth to it.

If God cannot love me as I am, I cannot love God as He is.

I think, if God wants me to be in a certain way, behave in accordance to a set of rules, be someone I am not, then I am already lost. I cannot be who I am not, and be genuine. If God loves a liar, then the honest wretch is out of luck. I however would prefer the company of the honest sinner every time.

I believe to be authentically oneself is the only true virtue. This requires a shedding of "who I am not", which is the conditioned man, the beliefs imposed upon me by society. The belief that happiness is a nice house. The belief that happiness is to be wealthy. The desire to be famous. The hate for my brother man. The things that drive us, the beliefs that fuel our civilization, if you can even call it civil. The beliefs that divide us.

All of them can fuck right off.

INVICTUS
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
- William Henley

The truth of course, is that God loves both the liar and the honest wretch. Be what you are. Be it fully. Be it authentically.