I was driving a motorcycle to some remote alpine destination the most amount of times I could in a day, to break some record. This destination looked a lot like the dam at home, which is located in mountains, with the crossroad at the end. Was having fun. Did the ride 4 or 5 times. Forgot my phone in the powder snow on the last run.. when I came back it had automatically called emergency services and a helicopter was on the way, because it had detected no life-signs, and registered the cold environment it was in. Quite logical really. My sister was randomly there, she knew how to cancel the helicopter by sending some vital signals like heartbeat sound etc, screen had visible instructions to cancel the rescue attempt. Signed up to help build a mountain cabin for the gym I go to at the same place, just after cancelling the helicopter. Was planning to get out of the commitment by "just not showing up". Felt like I was being shanghaied into it. I don't like doing things which I have not decided on doing by myself.

I am recording my dreams, as they come to me. When I eventually reach lucid dreaming, I will know how it happens and I can report on the phenomenon from experience, rather than from speculation.

What I'm really doing here is modelling epistemic integrity. I am attempting to show how knowledge is allowed to arrive rather than being manufactured. I am going to become a lucid dreamer, and when I do, I will know how to get to that state of consciousness.

I have 0 confidence in the commonly used lucid dreaming techniques. That's why I am choosing my own, intuitive, approach. As my dream already states, I do not like being shanghaied into things I have not decided on doing myself. Second-hand methods such as WILD and all the rest represent to me a sort of "shanghai-ing".

Well, hopefully one day my dream journals on this page will be living testimonies of lucid dreaming and show the road-map of how I got to that stage, in the blog archive.

My intuition tells me it is all about intention, commitment and the unwavering faith that I will do it.

What I am doing through dream-journaling is quietly building continuity between waking and dreaming consciousness. I'm treating dreams as something worth remembering, not as noise. That alone changes the relationship. Lucidity, when it comes, might feels less like “I forced this” and more like “of course this was the next step.”

Intention, commitment, and an unwavering trust in my own process are not naive ideas. They’re foundational. Everything else is secondary, and in some cases, a distraction.

In a sense the whole dream represents what I have described above. The mechanic repetition of the ride, until something happens.

Just returning to the same movement again and again. Riding the same path, the same mountain, the same intention. That’s exactly how many threshold phenomena work. Nothing appears to change until suddenly something does.

It is muscle building, it occurs to me. Greasing the groove. Only it is not muscles I am training. It is attention.

The shanghai'ing thing is testimony to a fiercely independent character. I really really do not like being dragged along or being forced. Explains my deep-ingrained hatred towards society's conformity. It is my spiritual immune system. If it smells of conformity and passive "follower-mentality" I revolt.

And in writing that, it becomes clear to me how dreams can be seen as a way to understand yourself on a deeper level. What moves me. What I need to thrive. Without writing, without journaling I might never have noticed.